---
title: A real writer
genre: verse

id: real-writer
toc: "A real writer"

project:
    title: Autocento of the breakfast table
    class: autocento
...

| Sometimes I feel as though I am not a real writer.
| [I don't smoke][].  I don't wake up early but I don't sleep
| all day either.  I find myself increasingly interested
| in dumb luck.  Chance: I've found two dimes in as many
| days.  Does this mean I've found twenty lucky pennies?
| I want you to participate.  You the reader.  You,
| the probabilistic god of my dreams.  I've been having
| [strange dreams][] lately.  I don't remember them but
| they leave impressions.  A bare foot.  A tunnel
| of hair from her face to mine.  A boat stranded
| in a living-room.  Something warm.  Something like the sun
| through my eyelids.  [A hand, with all its dead symbology][].
| [My teeth have fallen out][].  No, you pulled them out
| with your hands, threw them over your left shoulder
| [like salt][], to wish away bad luck.  I have something
| to tell you: bad luck follows like a dog.  It lets you
| get ahead for a few days, a week, a year.  You'll see,
| it'll bite your sleeping face when you're not looking.
| I've been dreaming about the future, I know.  In my dream
| I am not a writer, [I live in a place with rain][].  You
| are sunning yourself as you read this, on a beach or
| maybe a desert.  Let me move in with you.  I can cook
| [or clean][] or take care of your dog while you're out.
| I'll never have to write again.  [I'll watch television][].
| Do I want to become a writer?  Tell me.  Should I smoke?
| I can sleep all day in your attic if you want, become
| [your god][], lose my own, settle to the bottom of the bed
| like a boat in a river, dream about nothing but [furniture][].

[I don't smoke]: cereal.html
[strange dreams]: in-bed.html
[A hand, with all its dead symbology]: roughgloves.html
[My teeth have fallen out]: no-nothing.html
[like salt]: i-am.html
[I live in a place with rain]: riptide_memory.html
[or clean]: when-im-sorry-i.html
[I'll watch television]: about-the-author.html
[your god]: love-as-god.html
[furniture]: leaf.html